What is uglier than an aardvark?
Two
aardvarks!
What does the aardvark call his
dog?
Aard-bark!
What is the difference between an aardvark and
a coyote?
One has a long smeller, the other, a loud yeller!
Who loves
hamburgers, French fries, and
ants?
Ronald MacAardvark!
What does an aardvark keep in his
aquarium?
An aard-shark!
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What does an aardvark get when he
overeats?
Ant-digestion!
What does an aardvark take for
ant-digestion?
Anta-Seltzer!
Who's the aardvark's favorite female
vocalist?
Bearbara Streis-ant!
Who's aardvark's favorite male
singer?
Frank Sinostril!
What are the aardvark's favorite Beatle's
songs?
It's Been an Aards Day's Night and I Want to Hold Your
Ant!
What's worse than a giraffe with a sore
throat?
An aardvark with the sniffles!
What does an aardvark use when he has
a
cold?
An ant-ihistamine!
What command does the aardvark give most often
when he sails?
Snout about!
What does the aardvark take sailing?
An
aard ark!
How do ants hide from aardvarks?
They
disguise themselves as uncles!
Why do aardvarks like to talk to ants?
They
can stick to the subject!
Why was Easter the aardvark's
favorite
holiday?
Because he liked aard-boiled eggs!
What has 200 legs, 50 noses, and
is very
loud?
A herd of stampeding aardvarks!
Where does the aardvark family always
come
first?
In the phone book!
What do you call a boxing match between two
aardvarks?
A snout bout!
What do you call an aardvark that's just won
a fight?
A well 'aardvark!
What do you call an aardvark that's just lost
a
fight?
A vark!
What do you call an aardvark that's been
thrown out of a
pub?
A barredvark!
What do you call an aardvark outside
Buckingham Palace?
A guardvark!
What do you call an aardvark in a frying
pan?
A lardvark!
What do you call a pickled aardvark?
A
jarredvark!
What do you call an aardvark that plays
poker?
A cardvark!
What do you call a thick-skinned
aardvark?
A hardvark!
What do you call an aardvark good with a light
saber?
A darthvark!
What do you call an aardvark that writes
poems?
A bardvark!
Why can elephants swim - and aardvarks
can't?
Aardvarks don't have trunks!
What did the aardvark say when he lost
the
race to the ant?
If you can't beat 'em, eat 'em!
Who won the animal race?
The giraffe and
the aardvark were running neck and neck, but the
aardvark won by a
nose!
Why does mama aardvark call her husband a
cannibal?
Because he ate his ant for dinner!
When is an aardvark jumpy?
When he's got
ants in his pants!
Why do aardvarks make undesirable
neighbors?
Because they always have their noses in other people's
business!
What do you call a three-footed aardvark?
A
yardvark!
What do you call an road construction
aardvark?
A tarredvark!
What do you call an aardvark astronaut?
A
starredvark!
What do you call an aardvark that's good at
golf?
A paredvark!
How many aardvarks can ride on an
elephant?
Six... three on the back and three in the trunk!
What did the
impatient waiter ask the
gluttonous aardvark?
Is that your final ant, sir!
What do you call a Polish aardvark?
A
Polaark!
Who has a long nose, wears a mask, and sits
tall in the
saddle?
The Lone Aardvark!
Who is the Lone Aardvark's faithful Indian
companion?
Tanto
Two aardvarks watched in amazement as a
firework flashed across the sky.
1st aardvark: Wow! I wish I could
fly like that.
2nd aardvark: You would, if your tail was on fire.
I've got a new
aardvark. Would you like
to play with him? I don't really know. I've
heard it growling, it
doesn't sound very friendly. Does it bite? That's
what I want to
find out.
What has six legs, two arms, four eyes and a
tail?
A man holding an aardvark.
A man wanted a new aardvark so he looked
through the classified ads. He phoned a number he found and an elderly
lady answered.
"How much are your aardvarks?" he asked.
"They're L6 each," came the reply.
"Did you raise them yourself?"
inquired the man.
"Oh yes," she said, "Yesterday they were only L5
each."
How do
you define an aardvark?
Aan
aanimal that resembles an aanteater!
Which aardvark holds the speed record?
The
nearsighted aardvark, who wrapped his tongue around a
motorcycle!
Did you hear about the household appliance
that eats ants and records
TV shows?
It's the VCRdvard
