Are hamburgers male?
Yes, because they're
boygers, not girlgers!
Can a hamburger marry a
hot dog?
Only if
they have a very frank relationship!
Can you name two burgers
who are
royalty?
Sir Loin and Burger King!
Do hamburgers make good vampires?
No, because
they always find themselves in ghoulash situations!
Do
they really serve burgers in
Transylvania?
Very rare-ly.
How are UFO's related to hamburgers?
Both
are Unidentified Frying Objects!
How can you tell which Burger
Land baseball
pitchers are left-handed?
They're the one's wearing the
left-handed 'meats'!
How did the
jury find the
hamburger?
Grill-ty as charred!
How do gossipy hamburgers spend their
time?
They chew the fat.
How do the Rolling Stones like their
burgers?
Plain - Rolling Stones gather no moss-tard!
How do they prevent crime in hamburger
country?
With burger alarms!
How do we know burgers love young
people?
They're pro-teen!
How do we know hamburgers have high
IQ's?
They 'loin' fast!
How do we know that hamburgers love classic
music?
They're often found at the Meatropolitan Opera House and
Cownegie
Hall!
How do you insult a hamburger patty?
Call it
a meatball!
How do you make a cheeseburger sad?
Make it
with blue cheese!
How do you make a hamburger green?
Find a
yellow cheeseburger and mix it with a blue one!
How do you
make a hamburger
smile?
Pickle it gently!
How does a burger acquire good taste?
With a
little seasoning!
How does a pitcher walk a man in Burger Land
baseball?
He throws four meatballs!
How far do burgers go in school?
Through
cowlege (then they get their 450 degrees!).
How was the
hamburger murdered?
First it
was 'rolled,' then smothered in onions
In what school
subjects does the teacher
say, 'Well done, hamburgers'?
A wide range of subjects - meatyeval,
history, meatematics and word
grill.
Is it proper to eat a hamburger with your
fingers?
No, you should eat your fingers separately!
Name two tennis stars who
are famous in the
hamburger world?
Bjorn Borger and Billie Jean-o's Burger King!
Is there a way to make a hamburger do the
Hula?
Sure, order a burger and a shake!
Seriously, when the crooked
hamburger took
it on the 1am, where did it go?
Heidelburg-er, Germany!
What are some outstanding hamburger
colleges?
Brandeis, Cowlifornia State, Hoofstra, Pen State, Ranchelaer
Polytechnic, Burgereley and Moosouri!
What can you say about Ham Burger and
Chief
Justice Warren Burger?
Ham Burger is 'well done' and Chief Justice
Warren Burger has 'done
well'!
What did the hamburger say when it found out
that most people
liked hamburgers better than frankfurters?
'Hot
dog!'
What did the hamburger say when it pleaded
'not
guilty'?
I've been flamed!
What did the hamburgers say to the butcher who
acted on a TV show?
Welcome back, Cutter!
What did they call it when NHL officials
refused to allow a hamburger to play hockey in the league?
Rink
injustice!
What did they do to the burger who thought he
was a
rooster?
Cook-a-doodle-do!
What did they say about the burger who went
skiing
for the first time?
How the meaty have fallen!
What did they tell the burger who enlisted in
the Army?
You've got no beef, soldier!
What do burgers think when they are
surrounded by gherkins?
They think they are in a pickle.
What do hamburger workers say on
Monday
morning?
Well, it's back to the old grind!
What do some burger eaters have?
A Hardee
appetite!
What do some people have against
cheeseburgers?
They say, 'Burgers can't be cheesy!'
What do they call a meeting among the most
brilliant people in Burger Land?
A MEATing of the minds!
What do they say about the noise at the
Burger Land Super Bowl?
It's PAN-demonium!
What do you use to determine if a refrigerated
burger is cold enough?
A thermomeater!
What famous movie did the hamburger meat think
of
when they took it out of the freezer?
They Fry Who Cam in
from the Cold!
What great song is associated with
hamburgers and baseball?
'Steak Me Out to the Ballgame'!
What happens when two burgers fall in
love?
They live together in holy meatrimony!
What is a hamburger's
favourite
story?
Hansel and Gristle!
What is the hamburgers' most familiar
song?
'Home on the Range'!
What is the hamburgers' motto?
If at first
you don't succeed, fry, fry again!
What kind of a pitch
did Sandy Koufax of
the old Burger-lyn Dodgers have?
A fastball - a sizzler.
What kind of baseball do burgers
play?
Ketchup baseball!
What kind of company is a 24 hours hamburger
joint?
Fry-by-night!
What kind of girl does a hamburger like?
Any
girl named Patty!
What old-time song is the burgers'
favourite?
'Hammy' - as sung by Al Jolson!
What song do burgers sing on the
job?
Gristle While You Work!
What system do they teach in Hamburger High's
math courses?
The meatric system, silly!
When can you count on a hamburger in an
emergency?
When the chips are down!
When do burgers quit their jobs?
The day
they decide to meat LOAF!
When do hamburgers most enjoy
watching
TV?
During PRIME time!
When does a hamburger wear a look like a smile
button?
When somebody says, 'Well done'!
When the crooked hamburger took it on the
'lamb', where did it go?
Oh, 'ewe' know!
Where can a burger get a great night's
sleep?
On a bed of lettuce!
Where do the burgers go on New Year's
Eve?
To a meat ball!
Where does a burger feel at home?
On the
range!
Where does a burger go on vacation?
The
Swiss (cheese) Alps or The Cheeseapeake Valley!
Which baseball team is currently the favourite
with hamburger fans?
The Cincinnati Reds -because they're the
Big Bread Machine!
Which
burgers are
dishonest?
Cat-burgers! (burglars)
Which burger is famous for a long
nose?
Cyrano de Burgerac!
Which burgers can tell your fortune?
Medium
burgers!
Which burgers love to act?
Ham-burgers!
Which cheeseburger makes a big hit in
baseball?
A double!
Which is the meat patties' least favourite day
of the
week?
Fry-day!
Which meatballs get a little tipsy on
occasion?
The POTTED ones!
Which of our meaty friends are into astrology?
Those that
are born under the sign of the Ham!
Which people do the
burgers hate?
The
ones who are always putting the bite on them!
Which political discussions between the
Russians
and Americans keenly interest Burger Land citizens?
The SALT
talks!
Which type of comedy leaves a hamburger
cold?
BITING humour!
Who are the hamburgers favourite
people?
Vegetarians!
Who can beat any burger at golf?
Any LINKS
sausage!
Who do hamburgers love on TV?
Archie
Bunker's son-in-law, the meathead!
Who is the hamburgers' favourite
actress?
Candice Berger!
Who was the burger's favourite all-time movie
director?
Sizzle B. DeMille!
Who wins most of the medals for bravery in
Burger
Land?
The meatball heros!
Why are hamburgers essential to
football?
Because the game is played on a griddle-iron!
Why aren't burgers too
good at
basketball?
Too many turnovers!
Why can any hamburger run the mile in under
four
minutes?
Because it's a FAST food!
Why did the pro football player from the
last-place team drop pieces of hamburger into his soup?
He wanted to
know how it felt to take part in a Soup-er Bowl!
Why do
burgers laugh when you surround them
with pickles?
Who knows - maybe they're picklish!
Why do burgers run the gauntlet?
To test
their meattle!
Why do hamburgers act brilliantly on
stage?
They give meaty performances - especially if they are in their
prime!
Why do hamburgers feel sad at
barbecues?
They get to meet their old flames!
Why do hamburgers make good
baseball
players?
They're great at the plate!
Why do hamburgers make poor pigeons?
They
won't talk no matter how you grill them!
Why do the hamburgers
beat the hot dogs at
every sport they play?
Because hot dogs are the wurst!
Why is President Carter important to
Hamburger Land in April?
One the opening day of the baseball season, he
throws out the first
meatball!
Why was the burger thrown out of the
Army?
He couldn't pass mustard! (muster)
Why were the burgers in the
refrigerator
embarrassed?
They saw the salad dressing!
