Why couldn't the alligator send e-mails on his
PC?
Because it was on old croc.
Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to
the orange?
Because the lime was engaged.
Why didn't the internit get any
e-mail?
Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
Why do church bells
never send
e-mails?
They'd rather give each other a ring.
Why did the internit paint his
computer
screen in little black and white squares?
He wanted to check his
e-mail.
Why don't vikings send e-mails?
They prefer
to use Norse code.
Why don't you stamp e-mails?
Because your
foot would go right through the computer screen!
Pupil:
Sir, would you mind e-mailing my
exam results to my parents?
Teacher: But your parents don't have a
comuter.
Pupil: Exactly!
Do you send e-mails on your home
computer?
What's the point?
I can just bring my home along with me and have a
chat.
How come you
never write e-mails?
I'd
rather send a note!
How do athletes send e-mails?
On the
Inter-sweat.
How do comedians send messages?
By tee-hee
mail.
How do dolphins send messages?
By
sea-mail.
How do footballers send messages?
By
referee-mail.
How do Indian chiefs send messages?
By
teepee-mail!
How do Italian Chefs swap recipes?
By
Spaghett-e-mail!
How do long distance runners send e-mail?
On
the sprin-ternet.
How do mountainers send messages?
By
ski-mail.
How do really posh dogs send messages?
By
predigree-mail.
How do sheep sign their e-mails?
Ewes
sincerely.
How do skunks like their e-mails?
Scent.
How do wasps send messages?
By bee-mail.
How do whales type e-mails?
With their fish
fingers.
How do writers send e-mail?
On the
Inkernet.
How does James Bond type e-mails?
With his
goldfinger.
How does Robin hood send messages around
Sherwood Forest?
By tree mail!
I just sent my first
e-mail.
Kongratulations!
Teacher: You've been e-mailing other pupils
that
I'm ugly!
Pupil: Sorry, miss, I didn't realise you wanted
to keep it a
secret.
What do robots put at the bottom of their
e-mails?
Yours tin-sincerely.
What do vampires put at the bottom of their
e-mails?
Best viscious.
What do werewolves put at the bottom of their
e-mails?
Beast wishes.
What should you do if you get lots of e-mails
saying,
'What's up, Doc? What's up, Doc?'
Check for bugs in
your system.
When do e-mails stop being in black
and
white?
When they are read.
I tried to send an e-mail and broke my
computer.
How do you manage that?
I think it was when I tried to push it
through the letterbox.
I've
lost my dog!
Have you tried
putting a message on the Internet?
Don't be silly, my dog never reads
e-mails!
Why was the hen banned from sending
e-mails?
She was always using fowl language.
What did Hamlet say when he was
thinking of
sending a message?
To e or not to e, that is the question.
