A librarian was quietly working when three
chickens
walked in and jumped on to the counter eyed her and said "BUK BUK
BUK" Not sure she was sane she gave the chikens three books and
they left.
An hour later in walked the chickens again jumped onto
the counter,
returned the books they had taken earlier and said "BUK
BUK BUK" Now
convinced she was out of her mind she gave them three
books, they took one
each and left. This time she decided to follow
them. She followed them
down to the local pond and stood horrified
as they threw the books into
the water.
All of a sudden they
flew back out of the pond and a frog stuck it's
head up saying
"RREDIT RREDIT RREDIT!"
Q: What do you call a frog
with no hind
legs?
A: Unhoppy!!
I'd like a new frog, please.
But you bought
one only yesterday. What happened?
It Kermit-ted suicide.
How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs ?
They
sit eggsaminations !
What do you call a rich frog ?
A golf blooded
reptile !
What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common
?
Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth !
What jumps up and
down in front of a car ?
Froglights !
What happened when a frog joined the cricket team
?
He bowled long hops !
Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper ?
He had his own frog horn !
What do you say to a hitchhiking frog ?
Hop in
!
What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry
?
A hoppercraft !
What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy
?
Hoppalong Cassidy !
When is a car like a frog ?
When it's becing
toad !
Why do frogs have webbed feet ?
To stamp out
forest fires !
What do you say if you meet a toad ?
Wart's
new !
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute ?
A
frog with hiccups !
Why did the lizard go on a diet ?
It weighed
too much for its scales !
Whats green and goes round and
round at 100
miles an hour ?
A frog in a blender !
Whats green and goes round and round at 100
miles an hour ?
A frog in a blender !
Why was the frog down in the mouth ?
He was un
hoppy !
How do frogs die ?
They kermit suidide !
What's a frogs favourite flower ?
A croakus
!
Whats a frogs favourite game ?
It's croak-et
!
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog ?
A croaker spaniel !
What do you get if cross a science fiction film
with a toad ?
Star Warts !
What kind of shoes to frogs like ?
Open toad
sandals !
What do you call the English Toad Prize giving
cermony ?
The Brit Awarts !
Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants ?
They always want to play leap frog with him
Why is a frog luckier
than a cat ?
Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine
times !
What do toads drink ?
Croaka-cola !
What do frogs drink ?
Hot croako !
Where do frogs keep their treasure ?
In a
croak of gold at the end of the rainbow !
What do you call a 100
year old frog ?
An
old croak !
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist ?
Kermit the Fog !
What's a toads favourite sweet ?
Lollihops
!
What do you call a frog spy ?
A croak and
dagger agent !
What do you call a girl with a frog in her
hair ?
Lily !
How did the toad die ?
He simply croaked !
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak ?
Morse toad !
Whats the world weakest animal ?
A toad, he
croaks if you even touch him !
Whats white on the outside, green on the inside
and comes with relish and onions ?
A hot frog !
What happens if you eat a hot frog ?
You'll
croak in no time !
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats
?
In the croakroom !
Where do you get frogs eggs ?
At the spawn
shop !
Why didn't the female frog lay eggs ?
Because her husband spawned her affections !
What do you call a rich frog?
A gold-blooded
reptile.
What did one frog say.to the other?
Time's
sure fun when you're having flies!
Why did the toad become a
lighthouse keeper?
He had his own frog-horn.
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's
new?
Why doesnt Kermit like elephants?
They always
want to play leap-frog with him.
What do you get if you cross a frog with a
decathlete?
Someone who pole-vaults without a pole.
Q: How did the frog cross the
road when a
truck was coming? A: SPLAT!!! He didn't.
What does a
frog say when it washes car
windows? Rub it, rub it, rub it.
Q: Why are
frogs so happy?
A: They eat
whatever bugs them!
Q: What does a bankrupt frog say?
A: "Baroke,
baroke, baroke."
A frog came into a bank to obtain a loan. He
spoke to the loan officer Mr. Paddywack. When Mr. Paddywack asked the
frog
what he had for loan collateral, the frog held out his hand.
"What's
that?" asked Mr. Paddywack, but the frog could not talk. So,
Mr.
Paddywack took the frog in to see the manager and explained the
situation.
The manager then asked the frog what collateral he had
for the loan and
the frog held out his hand. "Oh," said the manager,
"that's a
knickknack Paddywack, give the frog a loan."
Once upon a time, a
beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond.
The frog said
to the princess, " I once was a handsome prince until an
evil witch
put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back
into a
prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom and
you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and
forever feel happy doing so." That night, while the princess dined on frog
legs,she kept laughing and saying, "I don't THINK so."
