After being away on business, Tim thought it
would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.
"How about
some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a
bottle costing $50.00.
"That's a bit much," said Tim, so she
returned with a smaller bottle
for $30.00.
"That's still quite a
bit," Tim complained.
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a
tiny $15.00 bottle.
"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see
something really
cheap."
The clerk handed him a mirror.
Why did King Kong join the army?
To learn
about gorilla warfare.
What do you do if King Kong sits in
front
of you at the cinema?
Miss most of the film!
What happened when King Kong swallowed Big
Ben?
He found time-consuming.
What do you get if you cross King Kong with
a giant frog?
A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building
and catches
aeroplanes with its tongue.
What's big and hairy and climbs up the
Empire State Building in a dress?
Queen Kong.
How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's
twisted it?
With a monkey wrench.
If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play
ping-gong and died, what would they put on his coffin?
A lid.
What is as big as King Kong but doesn't
weigh anything?
King Kong's shadow.
What do you get if you cross King Kong with
a
watchdog?
A terrified postman.
Who is the smelliest, hairiest monarch in
the world?
King Pong.
What's brown and furry on the inside and
clear on the
outside?
King Kong in clingfilm
Why didn't King Kong go to Hong Kong?
He didn't like Chinese food.
Why did King Kong paint the bottoms of
his feet brown?
So that he could hide upside down in a jar of peanut
butter.
What is
big, hairy and can fly faster
than sound?
King Koncord.
If King Kong came to England why would he
live in the Tower of London?
Because he's a beef-eater.
What business is King Kong in?
Monkey
business.
What would you get if you crossed King Kong
with a
skunk?
I don't know but it could always get a seat on a
bus!
Where does
King Kong sleep?
Anywhere
he wants to.
What should you do if you are on a picnic
with
King Kong?
Give him the biggest bananas.
What do you do if you fiend King Kong in the
kitchen?
Just don't monkey with him.
What do you get if King Kong sits on
your best friend?
A flat mate.
What do you get if King Kong sits on your
piano?
A flat note.
What do you get if King Kong falls down a
mine shaft?
A flat miner.
Why is King Kong big and hairy?
So you
can tell him apart from a gooseberry.
How do you catch King Kong?
Hang upside
down and make a noise like a banana.
What do you get if
you cross King Kong
with a budgie?
A messy cage.
What did King Kong say when he saw the
Statue of
Liberty?
"Are you my mother?"
If you crossed King Kong and a bell, what
would you have?
A ding-dong King Kong.
What is big hairy and can fly ?
King
Kongcorde !
If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping
pong and died. What would they put on his coffin ?
A lid !
What did the big ape say when he dialed
incorrectly?
"Oops! King Kong ring wrong."
