One lab mouse to another:
I've trained that
crazy human at last.
How have you done that?
I don't know how,
but every time I run through that maze and ring the
bell, he gives
me a piece of cheese.
What do mice do when they're at
home ?
Mousework !
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat ?
'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty' !
What kind of musical instrument do
mice play
?
A mouse organ !
Why do mice have long tails ?
Well, they'd
look silly with long hair !
Who has large antlers, a high voice and wears
white gloves ?
Mickey Moose !
How do you save a drowning mouse ?
Use mouse
to mouse resuscitation !
Where do hamsters come from ?
Hamsterdam
!
What's a mouse's least favorite record ?
What's up Pussycat !
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they
squeak !
What do rodents say when they play bingo ?
'Eyes down for a full mouse' !
What squeaks as it solves crimes ?
Miami
mice !
What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the
freezer ?
Mice cubes !
What is a mouse's favorite record ?
'Please cheese me' !
What have 12 legs, six eyes, three tails and
can't see ?
Three blind mice !
What is small, furry and smells like bacon ?
A hamster !
Is there a mouse in the house ?
No, but
there's a moose on the loose !
When should a mouse carry an
umbrella ?
When it's raining cats and dogs !
What are crisp, like milk and go
'eek, eek,
eek' when you eat them ?
Mice Krispies !
What is small, furry and brilliant at sword
fights ?
A mouseketeer !
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with
a skunk ?
Dirty looks from the mouse !
What's the definition of a narrow
squeak ?
A thin mouse !
What goes eek, eek, bang?
A mouse in a
minefield !
What's gray, squeaky and hangs around in
caves ?
Stalagmice !
What mouse was a Roman emperor ?
Julius
Cheeser !
Who is king of all the mice ?
Mouse Tse Tung
!
What do angry rodents send each other at
Christmas
time ?
Cross mouse cards !
What's the hardest part of milking a mouse ?
Getting it to fit over a bucket !
Hickory hickory dock.
The mouse ran up the
clock
The clock struck one
But the rest got away with minor
injuries
What's gray and furry on
the inside and
white on the outside ?
A mouse sandwich !
How do mice celebrate when they move home ?
With a mouse warming party !
What is a mouse's favourite game ?
Hide and
squeak !
Why did the mouse eat a candle ?
For some
light refreshment!
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak ?
Mouse
code !
What do you get if cross a mouse woth a packet
of
washing up powder ?
Bubble and squeak !
What's a mouse's favourite record ?
Please
cheese me !
Do you know what a mice said when it saw a
bat?
Mom ! I see an angel.
