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See my jokes -Daily updated jokes

Here you will be able to get your daily laugh. We have new jokes each day. So each dayis a new joke.
We hope that we can make you laugh as much as you should each day.

Todays joke


Seems a guy was driving for hours
thu
desolate country when he passed a farmhouse, and before he could
react, a
cat ran out in front of him and*splat*... he flattened the cat.
Out
of kindness and consideration, he stopped, turned around and drove

back to the farmhouse to notify the occupants. When the housewife came

to the door, said he, "Pardon memadame, but I just ran over a cat
in
front of your house, and assumed that it must belong to you. I
know this
might be hard to hear, but Iwanted to let you know instead
of just
driving off...."

"Not so fast", says she. "How do
you know it was our cat? Could
youdescribe him? What does he look
like?"

The man promptly flopped down on the ground, and said "He
looks like
thts"as he gave his best shot at a dead cat impression.


"Oh no, you *horrible* man", she replied. "I meant, what did he
look
like*before* you hit him?"

At that, the man got
up, covered his eyes with both hands and
screamed"Agggghhhhhhhhhh
!!!!!!"


Old age jokes

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50." The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, "It's his turn with the teeth."