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See my jokes -Daily updated jokes

Here you will be able to get your daily laugh. We have new jokes each day. So each dayis a new joke.
We hope that we can make you laugh as much as you should each day.

Todays joke


Morty the producer dies and goes to

purgatory. The agent behind the counter says "So Morty, what's it
gonna
be Heaven or Hell?" Morty asks, "What's the difference?" Sid
says
"Take a look at the monitor over here."

Morty goes to
the monitor and sees scenes of heaven where people are
quietly
floating on clouds and playing harps in serene bliss. Morty turns
to Sid
and says "Well that's nice. Pretty boring but nice. What's
Hell
like?"

Sid tells him to look at the other monitor. Morty does
and sees scenes
of young people having sex and dancing and smoking
and drinking and
laughing and singing and generally having a great
time.

"This is great!" says Morty. "I think I'll try Hell." Sid
directs
him to the elevator and instructs him to push the down
arrow. Morty
does so and waits for the elevator to take him to hell.


When the car stops at hell the doors spring open. Morty look
s around
from the elevator doorway and is shocked at what he sees.
Everywhere are
people burning in agony, screaming in pain, drowning
and suffering.
There are laughing demons with pitchforks piercing
their skin. Its
horrible, disgusting. Morty presses the up button
and goes right back to
Sid."

"What is this!? Hell is nothing
like you showed me on the monitor! It
was awful down there!"


Sid says, "You mean that monitor?"

"Yes," says Morty.


"Oh, well, that was just the pilot."


Aviation jokes

There were three guys in an airplane. One guy dropped a rock, another dropped a brick, and the last dropped a grenade. When they got back on the ground they were walking down the street and they saw a woman crying. Being the gentlemen they are they went up to ask her why she was crying she said "A rock fell from the sky, landed on my cat and now my cat is dead." The men said they were very sorry to here that and walked away. The next house they came across a little further down the road there was another woman crying. Being the gentlemen they are they walk up to her and asked her why she was crying she said "A brick fell from the sky, land- ed on my dog , and now my dog is dead." The men said they were very sorry to hear that and walked away. The next house they came across a little further down the road there was a man laughing his head off. Wondering what was so funny they went up to ask him. After they asked him he replied, "I bent over to get the news paper this morning , I farted and my whole house blew up!"